A foggy morning

I LOVE the fog. I can’t get enough of it. A chilly morning with a thick blanket of fog just puts me in the most beautiful state of melancholy goodness. It takes the harsh edges away from everything. It makes even the most mundane views luscious and eerie and soft. I want to go sit quietly, and enjoy the mist on my skin. I want to “hide” in it. Fog is the world slowed down; resistant to waking up and starting a day. It is quiet and still, other-worldly and comforting; and I could stand a lot more of those emotions these days.

Solitary

This weekend I will be ALONE. On my own. Nobody but me – oh, and the dog. It’s quite amazing the rash of emotions that are creating a chaotic conflict within me. I feel the need to list the pros and the cons of said upcoming solitary days.

Cons: Why must I start with the cons? Probably because I always want the bad first, so that things can end on a good note. I’d rather not end with a bad taste in my mouth, even if the cons end up outweighing the pros, at least you hear the good stuff last. Okay – on with the cons.

Cons:
1 – Hubby and I were supposed to be squishing grapes between our toes in a grape stomping competition at the vineyard this weekend. This is the biggest con of all – I’ve been looking forward to this for months – but he decided to crush my dreams and go hunting instead. But I’m not supposed to let this turn into a “bitching at hubby” post, so I’ll get back to the list. He’d better at least bring home some meat.
2 – I’ll be lonely, especially at night.
3 – I’m a paranoid freak who jumps at the sound of the icemaker working when alone at the house at night.
4 – I’ll inevitably find a way to waste this time doing something that I’ll decide later that I should have put off in lieu of something that clearly should have been my priority.
5 – I’ll probably drink too much wine and spend one day with a headache.

Pros:
1 – I don’t have to do ANYTHING that I don’t want to do.
2 – I don’t have to feed anyone but me. I can eat Totinos Pizza Rolls for breakfast, lunch and dinner – or I can spend all day long making a crazy gourmet meal that I won’t have to share.
3 – I won’t have to touch anyone elses poop. BONUS!
4 – I can bask in the sun in my skivvies on the deck and no one has to see me.
5 – I CAN SLEEP LATE – OH MY GOSH, this one must count for at least 5 pros. And 2 mornings in a row!!!
6 – I can shop if I want, for as long as I want – if only I could spend as much money as I want……….
7 – I don’t have to shave my legs. 
8 – I can drink too much wine (did I list that one as a con as well? I think I’ve changed my mind on that one)

Okay – so there are probably more things to go on both lists, but I’m beginning to get excited about the list of pros. It must be because I listed them last.

For my first evening of what I’m going to try and make into alone time bliss, I think I’ll make my own pizza, buy an expensive bottle of wine, and watch a couple of pay per view chick flicks.  I’m liking the sound of this.

What would you do with a whole weekend entirely to yourself?

Questions of the mind of late

Are humans innately greedy?
Why can’t work be eternally stimulating all the time, every day?
Why can’t people give you the praise and credit that you are due?
How can we have so little time to do all of the things that we would love to do?
Can I possibly be getting sick of wine?
Why do we internalize everything and draw conclusions without enough information?
Why do I worry that I’m pregnant every single month?
Why can’t my husband want to do all of the things that I’m most excited to do?
Will there ever be more time in a day?
How can I be all things to all people, and not lose myself in the process?
What’s for supper, stir fry or pizza?
Is it 5:00 yet?